Tories’ decision to defund BBC was “to protect public from Mrs Brown’s Boys”

The Government announced nearly two weeks ago that it would be freezing the BBC’s funding and abolishing the license fee. This comes as dreadful for angry, bored elderly men as they have one less thing to get riled up about.

The Guardian reported that the decision was briefed to the media as part of a plan to shore up public support for Boris Johnson, who has recently shown he is not the level-headed, compassionate genius we all thought he was. In a lengthy press briefing, a spokesperson for the Government outlined the reasons for the decision. These include some pretty obvious ones like the failure of new streaming platform ‘Britbox’, the anti-climactic series finale of ‘Line of Duty’ and the baffling decision to keep recommissioning ‘Have I Got For You’ — which we are led to believe, has been running since shortly after William the Conquerors coronation.

However, one reason for the persecution of the BBC stuck out as the noblest reason — the desire to kill off ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys’. “We thought it’d be funny to keep commissioning it, just to piss people off,” said the spokesperson, mournfully, “but now we realize the true evil of our actions.”

To ensure that the show “stays dead”, the spokesperson noted that Brendon O’Carroll had been executed at the order of the Queen, to protect her country. “I did it by my own hand,” her Majesty told us, “I just had to be sure he was definitely gone.”

Image: Sebastiandoe5 via wiki commons

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