By Emily Gray
Are you an incoming fresher? Or simply a silly second, third or fourth year wanting to reminisce on those golden days? This handy guide will, um, guide you through the ‘yahs’ and ‘nahs’ of being a student at Durham.
How to prepare yourself for Durham:
Elocution lessons are fundamental for anyone wishing to make a lasting impression or even simply last past Michaelmas term at Durham. Pay particular attention to the word ‘cahstle’, it will soon become part of your daily dialect and an unexaggerated, God forbid Northern ‘a’ will undoubtedly raise eyebrows and make your new Bailey friends disown you. ‘Stahsh’ is another notable example, bonus points if you own ‘cahstle stahsh’.
In order to prepare yourself for the many group projects you will inevitably be given, I recommend taking a long walk. This walk can be anywhere, but I personally recommend Mount Everest. Much like group projects, it will be a gruelling process; there will be tears, there will likely be blood and the urge to jump will become almost unbearable, plummeting to the depths of a third. Not only will this physically exerting task prepare you for your group presentation, but it will also somewhat help you prepare for the steepness of Durham hills.
Familiarise yourself with London Tube stations, especially if you are not from London or even the home counties. To have a list of notable locations which you supposedly have family or property at will gain a respectful nod at any cheese and port night.
Practice Jerusalem. Don’t ask questions, there will be a time in which there will be an unbearable urge to belt out this banger as you hark Bailey students singing it from their windows.
Essentials you need to take to University:
· Contactless signet ring – why not make this family heirloom practical as well as fashionable?
· Tweed jacket – not only will this popular garment come in handy when you inevitably join the local hunt, it will indicate your lack of sexual experience, and thus you becoming a magnet for potential sharks
· Flares – what says ‘sarrey girl’ quite like the swish swish of a pair of urban outfitters flares?
When in Durham:
You will sign for a house in the Viaduct with people you met during freshers week. These housemates will last the test of time and you will never regret signing with almost complete strangers who will definitely not drop out when they find a better, cheaper house in Claypath. The excitement of this new experience of becoming a homeowner will overshadow the dread of mouldy walls and rats as pets.
Sleep around as much as you can, it will give you a real insight into potential real estate when you inevitably sign for a house in the Viaduct.
But in all seriousness, enjoy your first year at Durham. Durham, thankfully, is a truly unique University, and you won’t find a culture quite like it anywhere else.
Image: Maddie Flisher