Returning year abroad students, has that fake French accent worn off yet?


Think Durham has a lack of culture? Think again. This year, particularly, Durham has grown to become a cultural hub. However, it hasn’t come from internally, but rather externally from our much-missed year abroad students. Rumour has it, after an 11am Spanish Language seminar, students had been discussing visiting ‘café con leche’. English students had an afternoon analysing this conversation and came to the verdict that this was a mere metaphor for pancakes at Flat White. When questioned about their use of foreign vocabulary, one student was quoted “I just can’t help it, I’m physically in Durham but literally still in Barthelonah!”, whilst another put her cultural modules to good use and donned this simply as ‘code switching’- it’s just who she is now.

I’m physically in Durham but literally still in Barthelonah!

Down the street the French students were spotted having a rendezvous before stepping into Greggs. However, this wasn’t the ‘Emily in Paris’, ‘la vie en rose’ image you may imagine outside of such an establishment, but rather a gaggle of Francophiles crying whilst peering through the glass doors, simply unable to drag themselves in. A nearby college’s welfare team was soon on the scene with stale custard creams and slightly lumpy milky tea, innocently asking “what’s the matter?”. They reeled back. No words were needed, nor could they probably be spoken due to such an intense immersion in French culture that all their English had been forgotten, they just pointed aghast at the flaky monstrosities next to the pasties. Those witnessing this ‘cultural betrayal’ claimed to have heard one étudiant gag, which another welfare team member claims could have been a fragile “quoi”. Such an intense reaction could only be justified when looking at their Instagram account and comparing the huge, rich croissants of Paris to the likes of Greggs.

Meanwhile, a group of Russian students judgmentally gazed at the scene cladded in long leather jackets and Doc Martens. A few words that could only be understood by Call of Duty fans were muttered in between puffs of cigarettes, and down the hatch an aggressively black coffee was poured.


One thought on “Returning year abroad students, has that fake French accent worn off yet?

  • Can someone do something about the terrible labelling around here. Someone has decided this is “satire”, and though I’m not sure quite what it is, I know very well that it isn’t satire.


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