University to fine students for walking too slowly around campus

By Comfort Wallis

Durham University has announced that a £20 fine will be introduced for any students caught walking less than half the speed of the person behind them. The fine has been brought in after a sudden rise in slow walkers traveling down Church Street caused havoc for all the Bailey students heading home from lectures to polish their signet rings before heading to either the Assembly Rooms or negotiating society, and for the Hill students laden with Tesco bags going the opposite way. The new rules also ban umbrellas being used on Church Street after ten students reported losing eyes to the points of brollies. Any caught walking three abreast will also be fined for gross inconsideration. It should be mentioned that these comprehensive travel regulations include exemptions for any elderly residents unfortunate (or brave) enough to walk up the road between 9 am and 5 pm.

The fine has come as a great relief to many as it aims to alleviate not only the issue of clogged pavements but will also help fund a new Durham grant scheme aiming to support the many students not eligible for SFE.

We spoke to Ed, a first-year History student at Collingwood College. “I’m so excited for the new fines to come in. I’ve really struggled to get to 10 am when there are people walking slowly in front of me, because my shoulders are too broad to fit through the gaps.”

Overall, this crack down on slow walkers looks as though it will provide a much-needed boost to the efficiency of the university and the well-being of most of the student body – minus the serial offenders who will eventually be forced to benefit from the very grant scheme they themselves fund.

Image: AEira-WMF via Wikimedia Commons