A human mosaic
Once I went all the way to Albania to see a mosaic
It is kept under sand for most of the year
But once a year it is revealed
Shards of tile tied together with ancient mortar
Enduring and at the same time ever so fragile
.
Sometimes I think people are a lot like that
We’re built from tiny pieces of each other
Those are passed down throughout the years
By all the people who have ever met us
And those that have met them
A mosaic made of everyone who came before us
Hidden and held dear within
.
I collect fridge magnets because my Nana did
And I keep my grandfather’s watch in my bedside table drawer
(Even though I can’t read analogue time)
Because I like having a piece of him with me
Safely and soundly locked away
When I watch a film in the cinema, I always stay till the end
Because my best friend always guesses the name of the boom mic holder
It’s a game that her family play, so now we do too
.
Fragments of you become fractals in others
In that sense, you live on
Through mosaics throughout the years
As enduring and precious as painted stones
.
I have been changed by people I have never met
I fold the corners of library books
I like to see where people before me have been
Which pages they deemed important enough to be permanently scarred
And I like to think others feel the same
.
Sometimes people you never expected to meet
Affect you in the most unwelcome of ways
They push their tile shards into you
And you can’t remove them for fear of bleeding out
Some parts of me are so painful
All sharp edges and uneven sides
Like the artist had begun to get careless
Left by those who did not know how to love me
But tried to anyway
.
No matter how hard you try
When people leave, pieces of them remain
I wonder how many pieces of me I have left in others over the years
How many of my fragments are stuck in other peoples’ chests
Even when I never intended to leave anything behind
It’s true that none of us is who we are without other people
Because we are other people, all as intricately designed as a mosaic.
Illustration by Verity Laycock
