here’s what I remember


the balance. ability to tiptoe
and remain. quiet
become a hushed whisper
a muted phone call
a text message that never sent.
I went down stairs
careful of creaks
armed with an alibi,
just in case. 

we meet in the middle.
and this is where I remember 


foreheads touch
and the flush dances through me
that balance
is gone; 

lost to the temperament of the wind.
We are victim only to each other
buried underneath your  


it’s impossible
for me to not remember. lip stains
your hands
my composure
I rip myself  



to store in a small overnight bag
for less weight.
if it means I’m untraceable
I create a new persona
She’s wild. Full of life.
soaked in a different perfume
so nobody knows I was here. leave no mark
and leave before sunrise
make sure the door closes quietly.

because in that night, I remembered wild but
lost it
got so close to myself. but had to fight her
at 8am the next day 

unclicking the lock 

and burying myself under  

trying to convince myself that despite the girl
I lost
last night
I still  


Illustration by Verity Laycock

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