An international student’s persective on Durham

By Alexandra Shemagina Semeikina

The recent racist remark posted on the anonymous DurMemes Instagram account has not created a new problem at Durham. It has exposed one that was already there.

Durham University has rightly called the comment “abhorrent and wholly unacceptable”, while Durham SU has condemned it within a wider context of hostility towards international students. But it would be too easy to treat this as one ugly joke being quoted, one anonymous post, one person who took things too far. The harder question is why so many international students saw it and did not feel surprised.

Durham loves to describe itself as international. Its prospectuses, open days and strategy documents rely on the language of global community, diversity and inclusion. But there is a difference between recruiting international students and making them feel welcome. One is an institutional achievement, the other is a lived experience.

The hostility is not always loud. Sometimes, it is the assumption that international students are rude because they do not perform politeness in a recognisably British way. Sometimes, it is the joke about “Chinese internationals” always travelling in groups. Sometimes, it is the eye-roll at foreign students assumed to be arrogant, insular, or unwilling to integrate before they have even spoken.

International students are often flattened into stereotypes in their peers’ minds: too wealthy, too loud, too quiet, too rude, too separate. In each case, difference is not treated as something to understand, but as something to judge.

Much of this judgement depends on the expectation that everyone should instinctively know how to behave in a British university environment. That expectation is unfair and, frankly, arrogant. People arrive at Durham from societies with different ideas of privacy, politeness, friendship, humour and public space. What reads as “rude” in one culture may simply be normal in another. What looks like coldness may be shyness. What looks like sticking to “your own people” may be the search for safety in an unfamiliar place.

This does not mean every cultural difference should be excused. But it does mean we should be slower to moralise things we do not understand. It is rude, in itself, to expect everyone to arrive already fluent in Western manners.

International students often feel pressure to integrate, but integration is treated as a one-sided obligation. We are expected to learn the codes, understand the jokes, adapt to the drinking culture, master the sarcasm, know when to queue, when to apologise, and when to say “you’re alright” when someone has nearly walked into us. But how often are British students expected to meet us halfway?

Friendship groups at Durham can often be defined by nationality. People love to point out that Chinese students stick together, or that international students form their own circles. But British students do the same. They arrive with shared references, school systems, accents, geography and humour. Like international students, they find people like themselves and settle into comfort. But it becomes hypocritical when one group’s comfort is called friendship and another group’s comfort is called refusal to integrate.

I notice this in small moments. I was recently at college sports training when I realised that my closest friend there was the only other international student. It had not been planned. Somehow, among the jokes and cultural references I almost understood but not quite, the person who felt easiest to speak to was the one who also knew what it meant to be slightly outside the room while standing inside it.

The education system itself does not do enough to bridge that gap. “International Freshers’ Week” sounds generous in theory, but in practice it can feel like a polite fiction. Three extra days in college do not make a place feel like home before hundreds of British students arrive and the social rhythm is suddenly set by them. When everyone around you says they are from North London, Surrey or Manchester, announcing that it takes two flights, a train and a six-hour car journey to get to university can feel strangely exposing.

At first, I tried to pretend there was no difference. After all, we were all freshers. We were all new. But the more I spoke to some of my English friends, the more I realised that I was not always being seen simply as another student. I was also being seen as someone with an accent, someone with a visa, someone whose English, however fluent, would always be treated as evidence of distance.

And yes, my English is decent. I am writing this, after all.

That does not mean the cultural exchange has only been painful. Some of it has been genuinely lovely. I have learnt about British weather, house Christmas dinners, crackers, paper crowns, train delays, passive-aggressive emails, and the mysterious confidence with which some people wear Uggs with linen trousers. I have found British habits strange, funny, charming and occasionally completely absurd.

But that is exactly the point. Higher education should be culturally enriching for everyone, not only for the students who moved countries to be here. British students are surrounded by people who have crossed borders, languages and legal systems to study beside them. That is an extraordinary opportunity. So why is it so often wasted?

International students should not exist merely as statistics, tuition fees, diversity photos or punchlines. We are not here to be silently grateful for admission into British academic life, or to be treated as a social problem to be managed. We are students. We are tired, ambitious, awkward, funny, lonely, intelligent, confused, homesick and trying, just like everyone else.

So when a racist meme appears, condemnation is necessary, but it is also easy. The harder work is asking why international students remain so easy to mock, resent and misunderstand.

Perhaps the real question is not why international students do not integrate.

Perhaps the question is: when was the last time you actually tried to know one of us?

The water will not get warmer if you do not get in.

Editor’s Note: Durham University has reached out to Palatinate to detail the work being done since the anonymous racist remark on the DurMemes Instagram page.

Dr Shaid Mahmood, Pro-Vice-Chancellor (Equality, Diversity, Inclusion and Skills), said:

“We are working hard to nurture a welcoming and inclusive environment, where all our people feel supported and valued, enabling them to thrive.

“Through our Inclusive Durham Framework, and the efforts of many students and staff, we have made much progress. But we know there is more to do.

“Our students and staff are critical to this most important effort, and we welcome hearing their lived experiences, which help us nurture a better Durham together.

“Like many others, I was appalled at the comments made on social media. We moved swiftly and robustly to respond.

“I and my colleagues have met with students at Hatfield College and several times with representatives of the Durham Students’ Union, the Chinese Society, the Chinese Students and Scholars Associationto further understand their experiences. I was pleased to hear that many of the students are thoroughly enjoying their time at Durham with many positive experiences shared with me, but I also heard some experiences where this is not the case and students are deeply upset.

“We have together developed an action plan which will be reviewed regularly to encourage reporting and deliver a more welcoming and inclusive environment for these students. 

“We will be delivering additional anti-racism training, increasing specialist and peer-to-peer support, extending our work on personal and community safety, and even more visibly celebrating diversity at Durham, including through cultural festivals.

“I and colleagues continue to dialogue with these student groups, and we are absolutely committed to fostering a community in which all feel respected and valued. I am grateful to the SU and the student societies for meeting and sharing with me. We will reflect on what we learn through this joint work to see what more we can do to ensure that the experience for all of our international student community continues to improve.”

Image: Amana Moore / Palatinate