A case of you

By Elizabeth Buckley

hello

I could’ve drunk a case of you,

but I was already weak at the knees.

my deliberate voice slurred,

my unfaltering vision blurred

hello

til I saw more than one, two, even three of you

maybe four.

you were everywhere, everything

my skin, my bed, my floor

I could’ve drunk a case of you, but I was already weak at the knees

hello

you need never have told me you loved me

we both know

I never was much more

hello

than a mascara stain on your pillowcase

a salty smudge, translucent, grey,

not quite enough to even just slightly obscure

your pathetic, enduring pride,

I was not quite enough to make you stay.

hello

let me leave, please

with my doggy bag of shame.

scraps and shreds and slashes

of what you returned back to me, of me, that day

hello

let me leave now,

loosen that white-knuckle grip.

your persistence pervades me,

your eyes dart and evade me

look away, you’ll never see me trip.

Constant as a northern star, blazing amidst a silken indigo hood

hello

you’ll find me at the bar

sat drinking a case of my own tears, my blood

constant as a northern star

blazing amidst a silken indigo hood

hello

the only constant in your darkness

a piercing, burning, white-hot scar

hello

I hope it stings you,

when eventually you look up to the sky.

that’s where I’ll be

embroidered into earth’s fabric

a figure-of-eight platinum tie

Embroidered into earth’s fabric, a figure-of-eight platinum tie

hello

a white gash on the ice’s surface

the river was meant to freeze that day.

hello

you cast it cold to pierce my skin

I cast it frozen to skate away.

hello

Illustration by Victoria Cheng