Comment Competition Winner: Is Valentine’s Day bad for relationships?


(Disclaimer: do not read this article if you want to be satisfied in your relationship)

The start of the new year always brings a plethora of new year’s resolutions which will constitute the new, better, you. Among the self-promises to join the gym and finally shed those last five pounds, many people’s lists will include something along the lines of ‘try harder in my relationship’; and this entails making an actual effort for the dreaded day that looms on February 14th.

Disclaimer: do not read this article if you want to be satisfied in your relationship

There are several ways in which this day can go wrong and ruin your relationship…read on to see your worst fears confirmed: yes, Valentine’s may possibly ruin your relationship.

For those couples yet to hit the six months mark, Valentine’s Day will serve as a day that marks a turning point in your relationship: the end of it. Sorry to sound so defeatist; give me a chance to explain myself. Having known each other for under six months, you’re in that wonderful stage of not being able to get enough of each other.

Just when you think you know everything about your partner, you’ll learn something deliciously new that will surprise you, but not necessarily for the better. Did you really want to know that he doesn’t wash his clothes more than once a month? I thought not. Valentine’s carries a lot of pressure for new couples, and chances are your partner will outdo your expectations and scare you away.

Alternatively, they might be trying so hard not to seem too serious that they push you away. They can’t win. Yes, an extortionately expensive trip to Paris is cute, but do you hear the chiming of wedding bells in the background? On the other end of the spectrum, no, a sweet card really isn’t enough at this point.

If you’re in the comfortable stage of a relationship that has lasted a year or more, things should be easier (phew). However, in this case, you’ll both have to find a way to outdo last year’s Valentine’s. And this is far easier said than done. Your student loan has only just come through, and you don’t want to blow it all on one special weekend. Christmas has already sufficiently depleted your bank account, and you’ve got their birthday coming up in a few months- yikes!

If you decide to tone it down on the money front, hoping they know the phrase ‘it’s the thought that counts’, there’s the risk of over planning and worrying about the day. We’re all perfectionists at heart, so even the most insignificant occurrence could ruin your day. Not only this, but you have to be inventive. Do you really think your girlfriend will be happy with that oh-so-original chocolate, flowers and champagne? I think not.

With a day associated so much with love and relationships, it seems that nothing can live up to the sky-high expectations. Valentine’s, as well intentioned as it may be, is setting all couples up for a fall. Perhaps the easiest solution would just be not celebrating it, but this brings a whole new set of problems onto the table.

While you sit at home, basking in your so-secure-we-don’t-have-to-celebrate-Valentine’s relationship, something will be niggling away at you. Sure, gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes over a candlelit dinner while Marvin Gaye plays in the background may be vomit inducing, but are you missing out on a certain connection other couples have? Sod it, should have gone to Paris after all.

So there you have it, a derisive and painfully truthful account of the most romantic day of the year. If you both manage to survive, I commend you.

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