Blanket mitigation “inappropriate” response to nuclear disaster

A new raft of exam mitigation measures has been announced by Durham University this week in an attempt to combat the effects of the recent nuclear disaster in the city.

The University said it was confident that the measures protected “the integrity of Durham degrees”, but admitted that “the total data loss in The Event has prevented the creation of authentic baseline averages”.

The policies dictate that anyone especially affected by the radioactive dust cloud will be able to submit a Radioactivity Mitigation Form on DUO to apply for an extension, which will then be reviewed by a cross-departmental Nuclear Disaster Committee.

The fallout from this incident will not lead to a no detriment policy, said the Vice-Chancellor, since it has covered the entire student population. In a statement, the University assured students the Durham Difference remained positive. “The Event has done wonders for our Physics and Chemistry departments, who are excited to gain practical experience with new elements and live reactions.”

Durham Students’ Union has launched a survey where students can rate their experience of the nuclear blast out of ten.

Some mitigation will nevertheless be in place. A seven-day extension may be granted for summative work, with the University reassuring students that a ‘day’ will remain the same even while the ash cloud hangs overhead. Meanwhile, if a student’s average mark is five or more points below the previous year, their record will be scrutinised for possible radioactive effects.

Despite SU pressure, students living in private accommodation razed to the ground in the inferno which followed the disaster will not receive refunds.

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