A Christmas appeal from the Department of Arts and Humanities

By Alexander Tillotson 

Christmas. The season of goodwill – a time to reconnect with family, friends, and most importantly, Diss Supervisors. The sad truth is however, that for some humanities students, this can be an intensely isolating period. 

Whilst computer science students enjoy hours of famously high quality socialising during labs, those not fortunate enough to do STEM are timetabled 10 minutes of forlorn staring through the history department window, on the first Thursday of every month. 

Chemistry students enjoy leisurely seminars in the Flat White, whilst classicists attempting to make small talk with lecturers in the street are moved on by university security for “aggressive begging tactics”. 

Whilst Modern Languages students desperately complain of their interfering departments breathing down their necks all the time, Monty, a classicist, has recently been paying passers by on Elvet bridge to do the very same thing, in a desperate bid to experience the warmth of human interaction.

In this season of goodwill, donate today:

£5 – will pay for a season’s greeting card to be sent from that humanities dissertation supervisor who was friendly all year, and then permanently emigrated to New Zealand before doing any actual marking.

£50 – will pay for an actor to dress up as a head of department and sit humanities students on their lap whilst listening to what they want for Christmas and telling them whether they are on the naughty or nice list.

£9250 – will pay for a humanities student to begin from first year again, as a natural sciences student.

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