Witnesses barely believe their eyes as student bravely manages not to waste the entire day


Durham scientists and soon-to-be unemployed humanities students are baffled at what seems to be the
most curious case study of 2021.

An unidentified student was observed earlier this week entering the Bill Bryson before unpacking their stuff and getting to work right away. The Palatinate team arrived after reports of ‘unprecedented’ behaviour in the main library. The subject proceeded to work for
an astonishing four solid hours, only ever stopping to drink coffee or to go to the toilet.

‘It was absolutely insane’, one student said of the subject. ‘They came into the restroom, did their stuff, washed their hands, and just like that, they were off.’ The student was so shocked at their lack of procrastination and sheer will that they spent another hour staring into the window contemplating existentialism.

This piqued the interest of our Palatinate team, who quickly followed the subject into Not-Esquires Coffee where said subject shortly proceeded to repeat the same study routine from earlier. Meanwhile, other students at the café were observed to be browsing through Instagram, checking if their Durfess had been posted yet, while some simply had their study notes open while not looking at them.

After leaving the café with what seemed like a smirk on their face, the student was then followed on their daily run, which started at Palace Green. The team was unable to confirm where to or how far they ran as the team was unfortunately unable to keep up.

Luckily, the student was sighted again on the dance floor bopping to ‘Sweet Caroline’. The team raced to catch a sight of the student not working, but it transpired that their dissertation was in fact on club lifestyle. The student was last seen walking towards Gilesgate at 1 am after one of the team members complained that they weren’t going to head up the roundabout.

Image: Librarybuildings.eu

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