Violet Balloons


I could not believe my eyes, but there it was – the second clue! The second step towards finding out who the secret admirer was; who my secret admirer was. The very thought sent the butterflies in my stomach on a rollercoaster ride. I reached out and detached the letters from the helium balloons. I hardly noticed that the balloons were violet – my favorite color.

The balloons looked good on my window sill, so I decided to leave them there. The letters, however, I placed on my table and rummaged through my drawers till I found the other three that had been sent as the first clue. Even after putting them together, I could make no head or tail of the entire thing and so, gave up after an hour of trying. The first time I had only chanced one glance at them before throwing them in the bin. Later, I decided that the neatly cut cardboard letters could come in handy some day, so they got a place in my drawers. The short note that had come with the first clue was in my jewelry box and read –

A feeling so unique exists in this world,
Love is the name of that beautiful word.
And that’s what I think I feel for you
I will send you clues three,
So that you can figure out,
You love me too….

Your Secret Admirer

Obviously, then, I had thought that it was the oldest prank friends played on each other. The other friends would have a huge laugh behind the victim’s back, while the poor girl/boy pondered through wild possibilities on the identity of the secret admirer. However, the expressions and surprised tones I saw and heard the next day at school were enough to confirm that the prank was being played by someone outside my friend circle. After that day I had decided to put the secret admirer at the back of my mind, until something else came up…and now it had. The balloons were gently colliding with the first gift – a wind chime, causing the room to fill up with a pleasant tinkling sound.

The next day, I went to school weighed down with my book bag as well as the second clue. Each and every boy I passed looked weird to me; as though I was looking at the opposite sex for the first time. In fact, I was looking for some sign, some clue that would enable me to reach the secret admirer, but my attempts were futile. At last, I entered the first class of the day, English Literature and went to sit down beside my long-term friend, Rehan Khan. He was my closest guy friend and always made me laugh. We were a great team and that day his continuous jokes about my secret admirer kept the actual worry away. As the bell rang, he asked me if the violet balloons were still at my window sill, laughed and left. The rest of the day was a blur and ended without anything interesting happening.

The day after, a terrible put the secret admirer totally out of my head – Rehan had been killed in a car accident and we were to visit his funeral. At his house, Rehan’s parents sat speechless, while others were sobbing. I ran up to Rehan’s room to hide my face and cry. His room looked the same, only Rehan was not sitting on the bed, laughing. However, there was something on it, something violet.

Back at my home, I ran as fast as I could to my room. Panting, I took the letters out of my bag and arranged them – _ _ H, A, N   _ H, A, N. Only the R, E and K were missing. Something else crossed my mind; I had never told anyone that the balloons were violet, I had barely realized it myself… but Rehan had known: of course he had! My mind was instantly full of a thousand things, but only one thing made sense – the third clue would never reach the recipient, it would never reach me.

It was such a blow for me; not only because I had not been able to receive the love that Rehan wanted to shower me with or because I had lost an amazing friend, but also because I felt that I had been cheated out of a great and important part of my life. Maybe we would have dated, maybe we would have gotten married, maybe we would have had several kids or just one… but, those were all just maybes now. I had learnt through that loss that the only constant in life is change and it is best that we acknowledge it and grasp every moment of life. Photographs and videos are not enough: to keep myself from forgetting the exact details of those moments I have my journal with me, always. I want to freeze the memories and the happenings. That is why I like to go out of the way to record those moments; that is why I write…

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