Comment asks Palatinate questions about love

With Valentine’s Day almost upon us, Comment decided to settle some of the most debated issues related to dating and relationships by asking the true love experts: the Palatinate Editorial Board.


Name: Julia
Position:
Politics Editor
Relationship Status: 
Single

Can you be friends with your ex?
Probably not. As severe as it sounds, you broke up for a reason and that reason still exists. Sometimes you hold back in the next relationship because your ex is still hanging around.

Is it better to meet people IRL?
Definitely! What you put forward on an online profile is normally not really you. You can’t exactly tell if you’ve got chemistry over a screen.

Is age just a number?
Whilst I agree that an age barrier shouldn’t get in the way, some shared experiences would be nice. If he keeps telling you about how hard it was for him during the war, he’s probably too old.

Does it matter if you have different political views?
As much as I’d like to remain neutral on this one, a difference in opinion can fracture a relationship from the start. Your political views are usually pretty fundamental,and we can be pretty stubborn about them. Unless heated political debates are what you are after, I’d probably avoid dating someone from the opposite camp.

Once a cheater, always a cheater?
Cheating is often a sign that something isn’t quite right in the relationship, so although I’m in favour of forgiveness, sometimes things just aren’t meant to be. Some people make mistakes and learn from them. Some people make mistakes and don’t.

Is love blind?
Can I get back to you on this one? Physical attraction is key to a relationship but so are mutual interests, a shared sense of humour, common goals… I guess love looks past lust and that’s how things last long-term.


Name: Tomas
Position: Sports Editor
Relationship status: Taken

Is it important to like your partner’s family?
It’s not essential, but it definitely helps. Your choice of partner shouldn’t be dictated by what you think of their family though.

Are you pro ‘Facebook official’?
If you’re serious about someone after a significant amount of time then I don’t see anything wrong with it. Having said that, I can understand why some people are hesitant about it.

Can lying ever be justified in a relationship?
It’s okay to tell the odd white lie but anything more is risky territory.

Can you change your partner?
People can change in relationships, but I don’t think you should aim to change your partner – it probably won’t work and it’s a bad sign if you’re trying to do it anyway.

Is long-distance worth it?
Definitely. It’s tough at times but if you’re with the right person then it’s all worthwhile, especially as it makes seeing them again even more special. If you think there’s even a remote chance of things working out then you should give it a try.

Is snooping ever okay?
No, if you’re snooping on your partner then you clearly don’t trust them. Nothing good can come out of it.


Name: Tania
Position: News Editor
Relationship status: Single

Sleeping with someone on the first date – yes or no?
People always say you should wait but, to be honest, if there’s a connection and it feels right in the moment then I don’t see why not. It can just be for fun and nothing may come of it but, equally, I know people who have done that and are now in long-term relationships so it doesn’t define where the relationship is going if it does happen. Just see how you feel in the moment!

Do opposites attract?
Opposites definitely attract in my experience. It doesn’t necessarily have to fizzle out after the initial attraction. If you do a different subject or do different extracurriculars, it can be quite fun to share those experiences with someone who has a completely different perspective. Long-term, perhaps it helps to have common interests, but it’s all case by case.

Is ‘ghosting’ ever ok?
Ghosting is honestly the worst. I hate it when someone doesn’t reply, I would rather they were upfront and honest even if it’s to say ‘sorry not interested’. However, it’s probably okay if you’ve already been genuinely direct a number of times and they’re ignoring what you have to say.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
Love at first sight? No, not really. You can have an intense attraction to someone but love generally comes from getting to know someone inside and out. You can’t know a person from an initial glance, though you can sense good vibes from them.

Is sexting cheating?
It depends on the premise of the relationship but I really do think it is. If you are in a committed relationship, it’s a breach of trust in the same way as you’re talking about intimacy with someone who isn’t your partner.


Name: Ollie
Position: Deputy Sports Editor
Relationship status: ‘You know my name, not my story’

Can you love two people at once?
No, probably not.

Is arguing healthy?
Not in my experience.

Do you believe in the one?
Not particularly.

What’s the best way to mend a broken heart?
Stimulate your brain in other ways – try some challenging sudokus or a game of chess with a good friend.

What’s worse, emotional cheating or physical cheating?
I don’t really know what emotional cheating is, so probably physical.

What’s your deal-breaker?
Not laughing at my jokes.

Illustrations: Katie Butler

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