As we welcome clubs and gigs back into our lives, the nation is eager to exercise their freshly reclaimed ‘freedom’ in a flurry of pints and humiliatingly rusty socialising. But no one is utilising their recovered liberty with quite as much relish as your scatty friends, who’ve been itching for over a year to bring your plans crashing down at the last minute.
For those unfamiliar with the species, the so-called ‘Unreliable Friends’ are the least busy individuals in the animal kingdom, due to their remarkable ability to wriggle out of any and all commitments. They lull their prey into a sense of security, making a night out planned weeks in advance seem a sure bet. They bide their time until, at the eleventh hour, they pounce, usually by accepting a different invitation that day or by simply ‘not feeling like it’.
The origins of the first ‘Unreliable Friend’ remain ambiguous, but urban legend dictates someone bit into a radioactive Cadbury’s 99, transferring all its flaky tendencies into their human body.
We reached out for a comment from one such Unreliable Friend, but they texted us ten minutes before the meeting time saying, “Something came up! So sorry!!x” We later saw them interviewing with another paper at the same time as our meeting, but it was difficult for them to surprise us by this point.
Image: Tommy Ga-Ken Wan via Flickr