5 Types of Durham Couples on Valentine’s Day

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Valentine’s day is here: the shops are full of chocolates and cheap knock-off teddies, the restaurants are offering cut-price deals involving multiple bottles of wine (always a plus) and couples are coming out of the woodwork. This is the perfect time to don your ‘I did a module in Anthropology’ hat, so settle down, practice your best David Attenborough impression, and let’s look at the varied types of lurrve swarming over our streets.

This is the perfect time to don your ‘I did a module in Anthropology’ hat

1. The First Years

They may have met in freshers week; more likely they’ve got together in Jimmy’s enough times they feel they have to make a go at it for the bants. Their Valentines will probably involve a cheap box of Celebrations from Tescos and multiple shots of vodka at a college bar, followed by an unremarkable night out and terrible hangover. One member of the couple will be really into them; the other will be a bit more nervous. Their friendship group has a betting pool on how long it’ll last.

Their friendship group has a betting pool on how long it’ll last.

2. The College Marriage

They’ve both got “actual” partners but really you know they only have eyes for each other. Again, much wine will be consumed over Valentines, they’ll probably end up on a sub-par bar crawl and whilst it would be a little bit weird if they bought each other presents, the love, support and Alcoholics membership they offer will more than make up for it.

 

3. The Third Years

Summatives. Dissertations. Maturity. Terrible things that await us all and are currently plaguing this couple. They’re desperate to think they’re still young but the 2-for-1 deal at a nice restaurant like Fat Hippo suggests differently. She’ll wear jeans and a nice top and own too many pencil skirts; he’ll be applying for internships and writing a diss plan in his head during the meal. They’ll stay together past uni, but they won’t enjoy it.

Summatives. Dissertations. Maturity. Terrible things that await us all and currently plaguing this couple.

4. Galentines

A group of 3 or more single girls clinging to the warmth of a concept from a 2009 television show. There will be different levels of engagement here: some will be up for a night out, others for drowning their sorrows, one lucky devil will be chirpsing the whole way through and trying to make it look like they don’t want to ditch. Everyone but the most drunk will leave at 11, while the others head to Klute, try to pull, and cry when S Club 7 come on.

 

5. Singletons and Self-Belief

The best of the bunch- certainly the healthiest. They don’t want a relationship and aren’t interested in getting with anyone. Instead, they’ll happily spend Valentines with a couple of good friends, some pizza and Netflix. The type of people who can watch a serial killer documentary and then go happily about their day, they’ll outlive us all and be really cheery about it.

The type of people who can watch a serial killer documentary and then go happily about their day, they’ll outlive us all and be really cheery about it.

So this Valentine’s Day, why not indulge in a bit of ‘couple spotting’ (but not in a creepy way)? If nothing else, it’ll take your mind off your degree, and what’s university for if not that?

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